page filled up with craps,
hands get weted with scalding tears,
everyone says the blogger is sdumb,
but who can understand the hidden ideas?
Fischreusen sind da um der Fische willen;
hat man die Fische, so vergisst man die Reusen.
Hasenschlingen sind da um der Hasen willen;
hat man die Hasen, so vergisst man die Schlingen.
Worte sind da um der Gedanken willen;
hat man den Gedanken, so vergisst man die Worte.
Wo finde ich einen Menschen,
der die Worte vergisst,
auf dass ich mit ihm reden kann.
The other day, When I was sending a book(The Spirit of Chinese People) as a gift to a professor of CMU, who was giving a lecture in HIT, He asked me to sign my English Name on it. After I sighed "John", he also wanted a second name, I said "I'm sorry I havn't got a second English name." If it had happend today, I'll sign my second name as Rock, yes, John Rock.
My Chinese name Yan means Rock, so that it comes naturally. Why havn't I thought out of that before?
Well, The Next section is a song, I Am A Rock, sorry for getting the lyrics only.
A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.
今天和导师讨论了关于开题的事情，发现，导师所想的和我所想的完全是两码事。导师的理解跟我的理解有很大的偏差。从我的角度上来看，导师的理解是不 全面、不准确的。我试图将我的想法讲给他听，结果却被否定。看来我前几天所做的工作全部都是去了意义。唉，为了毕业，只能如此。
不免联想起成功经理人讲座中，于老板的告诫：
老板永远不会错
如果发现老板错，一定是我看错
如果我没有看错，一定是因为我的错，才害老板犯错
即使是他自己的错，只要老板不承认有错，他就没错
如果老板不认错，我还坚持他有错，那就是我的错
总之，老板不会有错，这句话不会错
虽然罗嗦，但是重复会加深记忆，不是么？
这套不会错的模版倒是比较好用，我看到一个人做了一个简单的字符替换，将“老板”替换为“老婆”，将“他”替换为“她”。这样，一个新的不会错的告诫便产生了。
The Athens 2004 Olympics is over, China has won 32 Golds, which is a historical highest. Therefore, several days before, many maintained that China would win no more than 25, for China team fails on many of its superior games. We made mistakes on Gyms but we made breakthough on Athletic and Canoe.
On ther other hand, the US basketball dreamteam was suppposed to won the game. But their arrogant turned the gold into bronze.
"Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you will get", said Gump's Mom.
As far as myself concerned, I've been using Gmail for months, but got not invitations to others. Today, when I open my mail inbox, discovered there were 6 invitaions, and I got another 6 later on. what a box of chocolate! hehehe.
Once a friend of mine told me his dicovery "Once you encounter something like words, concepts, names and etc. you would often encouter them again in a very short period." he thought it was very weird.
My explanation to him was "it is a kinda 'selective acceptance' of information". And both he and i was satisfied with this explanation.
Yesterday, when I was on a bus to my friend's home at 1pm, I saw two cars special. The first was a white enlengthened Linclon, the second was a Camro. Then, at 7pm, I was on a bus back home. I saw the both cars I encoutered in the afternoon.
What surprised most was not the two cars. I picked up a CD of Björk at an AV store. And when I was listening the her music, Björk appeared in the TV screen -- she sang for the Athens 2004 Opening.
So much coincidents in one day, I cannot explain it. It's weird!
These days, i have been immersing myself in the game "DOOM3 Reloaded". The game is nodoubt another triller by ID soft, costs them 4 years to complete it. With the most advaced graphic engine, the game takes the player to another world -- Mars on 2145.
Althougth playing at the lowest screen resolution and image quality, with all special effects turned off, and of course the easy game settings, I still found the game scary. Those creatures, monsters, infected staffs just show up beside you and attack you. However the most scary scenario for me is when i walk into a room, i saw nothing, but heard screamming from behind the wall, beneath the floor, I realized that they are everywhere but I just could see none.
I remember words from my philosophy teacher "what one fears most is not death but unknown things to him." But everyone seems to fear about death, then i speculate what we really fear could be the "when" and "how" of the death. Futher, just like Rumsfeld said, there are "known knows", "known unknows", "unkown knows" and "unknown unknows", I guess I should have refer to some Artifical Intelligence books on the "Epistemic Logic" topic to map those into real world.
hehehe, I'm getting too far away. Okey, Back to Doom. Then, I got some cheat codes. I input them in the console to turn the "God Mode" on. Then, I had no concern about the "how" and "when" of my death. All fears had gone, then I just striked upon them with great vengeance and fury, then they would know i was in "God" mod.Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm glad to be here tonight. I'd like to make some announcements here tonight.
First of all, f*ck Pele! Pele, you should have shut the f*ck up before any match. Just like what you did in the 2002 world cup.
Secondly, f*ck Nakata! shame on you!, that's obviously a handball.
Thirdly, f*ck the referee, didn't you notice that? how could you using two standards toward the two teams in one match. you gave japs too many freekicks while you didn't give a shit at jap's foul.
F*ck LiYi, what a chance did you hava? you should have goaled. that's an one on one.
F*ck the jap assholes pretended to be injured to waste time after jap got the lead.
F*ck the people in the stadium, you should stop the bus, burn it and beat the all jap players.
F*ck all the japs, i'll hate you all from now on. i swear not to buy anything made in japan.
F*ck!
hehehe, then, am i qualified to be a cynic "angry youth" now? i guess i am.
高中班级聚会总是让人期待的，在聚会上总会见到老同学、老朋友、老情人、老情敌，等等，当然，还有老师。今天的雨并没有影响班机聚会的正常进行，据我的老师说，她刚刚探望了在哈尔滨的一位老朋友，然后便来到聚会的地点。我的老同学们，也在下班后，陆续赶来。
我所说的老师，她比我们大整整12岁，是指我的高中最后一年接替班任的语文老师，在她接手班级不久，便成为了班级中不少人的偶像。
她 给我的第一次深刻的印象，并不是其他人心中的“每天都会有不同的服饰”，而是她所教给我们的一堂课。那是普通的一堂语文课，对我来说，是一门极其 枯燥的课，突然，窗外骤雨降临。那是98年的骤雨，松花江的水面已经超过警戒水位，防洪是那个时候新闻的主题。这场雨让班级的所有人唏嘘不已，而且似乎都 有种旁观的感觉。也许心里都在想“这下可有热闹看了”，也有人将这个想法低声说出口。我记得当时许久老师没有说话，然后便批评了这种看热闹的想法，具体内 容我已经记不得，但是那种羞愧的感觉至今还让我无地自容。不久，老师带着几个同学去看望了抗洪官兵。这堂课，我从老师那里学到，人应该有那么一点点正义 感。
关于我的老师的过去，先写这么多，我也恐怕写多了，本篇就会彻彻底底的成为回忆我的老师的命题作文。
在许多人的 心中，老师是一位活得非常“滋润”的人，这种“滋润”当然是表现在多方面的。这几年的聚会，每一次见到老师，都会有人说老师变得更加年轻 漂亮了。这当然是“滋润”的最直接的外在体现。然而，在背后，老师似乎有更加滋润的生活。她有一位好丈夫，一个聪明懂事的儿子，一份不错的工作，和一个很 不错的人际关系……这一切都是为班里的同学津津乐道的。无疑，老师成为了班里面女同学的榜样和楷模，我的另一位老师也常跟我提起她很佩服，而甚至在高中毕 业前，男生中便流传着“娶妻应像韩杰梅”的口号。
聚会中，老师对我们说，“我感觉你们现在很好，很多东西都是未知的”。而我们对偶像的 崇拜，归根结底，都是因为她的那些已知。这些说到底，都是钱先 生的的“围城”的那个命题。我有时候在想，是谁修建的围城？如果去掉壁垒，那又是什么效果，却没有得出一个结论。不过，就事论事，拥有未知还是好的，因为 我的现有的已知都不能让自己满意，期待我余下的未知的求值结果。
